What Tarot means to me
How I began this journey
Dorothy
6/23/20263 min read
My love affair with Tarot began a very long time ago. As a child I loved playing cards, and would often spend time poring over them, making up stories and deciding that there were “good” cards and “bad” cards. My mother would notice this and I believe it made her a little anxious. She was open to anything fey, spiritual, or other worldly, but it seemed to worry her that I was apparently seeing something in these cards, other than using them to play a card game. She never told me not to do it, but I could tell she was uneasy, and she would often distract me with some other activity.
In my early twenties, I was introduced to Tarot through a life-changing reading from a remarkable man in Glasgow in the late 1970s. It was not the details of the reading so much as what I experienced before and after that was so profound—but that is a story for another day.
I bought my first Tarot deck shortly after this experience, from an occult shop in South Kensington. It was not the easiest choice for a beginner: the Pointner Tarot, Piatnik Wien, with images that were not especially helpful for learning. I tried to read by looking up the meaning of each card in the accompanying booklet, and I remember feeling frustrated and disappointed, as though I had been locked out of something I desperately wanted to understand.
This all happened so long ago, so remember, there was no internet, so no easily accessible online forums, or discussion groups, from which to learn and practice. Add to that, I was alone with my interest, in a subject that some still considered the “dangerous occult.” I realise that there were other resources available, and spiritual groups who could have taught me so much…. but not within my circle. Or perhaps I just wasn't ready to learn.
I persevered, on and off, with my Pointner Tarot, still feeling as though I was banging on the door, desperate to get inside, but unable to find the lock let alone the key! I also married and had my two children, so Tarot was very much left on the back burner, whilst I put my energies into raising them.
Fast forward to 2001, and a painful period in my life began. My marriage was disintegrating, just as my son was preparing to leave for university, with my daughter due to do the same two years later. I felt lost, unsure who I was anymore or what purpose I had, as the household slowly changed from a family of four to just me at home. And that was when the door burst open. I discovered a Tarot group locally, studied intensely, buying Tarot decks, reading Tarot books, and absorbing so much information online, especially from the Aecletic Tarot forum, which sadly is no more.
A strange thing occurred when I was writing some biographical details for my online profile for Aeclectic Tarot. I remember posting that I was back on my spiritual path with Tarot “leading” the way. To my surprise what was written was Tarot is “lighting” the way. I was so confused. I was sure that I hadn’t written that, and quickly made to change it, but then I paused and realised that this was a far better description of what Tarot means to me. Being led along a path implies not being in control; it suggests dependence on someone or something else to get me where I need to be. Having the way lit, however, speaks of someone offering guidance, casting light on what lies ahead and making visible the different possibilities. The decision about which path to take, though, lies fairly and squarely with me.
So, what do I think happened? I was so shocked to see what was written. I really had no intention of using the word “lighting,” though of course that was the perfect word. Where had it come from? My higher self, my soul coming to the fore and showing me what I needed to see? I believe it was, although many would blame a computer glitch or say that it was just a typing error, but I know that I was meant to get that message, and it encapsulates what Tarot represents in my life. The cards sing to me, they lift my spirits and soothe my soul, and always they light the way.
